Oh, those Garden State housewives and their witty repertoire. The Real

Oh, those Garden State housewives and their witty repertoire. The Real Housewives of New Jersey have never been a franchise to mince their words. But this is what makes each of the Bravo personalities so memorable. The OGs and newbies have no problem saying what is on their minds even if those sentiments will for sure get them into trouble. But after 14 seasons, which quotes reign supreme? This is where I take over and help us pick the best. So here is the cream of the crop when it comes to RHONJ’s wise words.

Your husband’s in the pool

For the entirety of Season 9, Margaret Josephs and Danielle Staub were at one another’s throats. Naturally, the tension boiled over at Jennifer Aydin’s Paramus pool party. Marge’s husband, Joe Benigno, ended up exchanging words with Danielle’s then-spouse, Marty Caffrey. The conversation became so heated that the MacBeth Collection owner felt Marty needed an immediate cooldown, which resulted in him swimming with the metaphorical fishes.

Joe was so upset at the loss of the friendship and was caught telling the group, “Marty’s a f*cking dick. He was a great guy to hang out with, and then … Danielle poisoned his mind.” Marty decided to talk trash about Margaret’s body, which resulted in the couple tossing Marty into the family pool. Everything went with him, including his suit, phone, and watch. But that’s what you get for picking on Marge.

“I don’t know if she wants to be me, or skin me and wear me like last year’s Versace.”

It is safe to say that Dina Manzo and Danielle never got along. From day one, Dina always felt something was off with Danielle, especially with her bad energy. All the former stripper wanted was to be accepted by Caroline Manzo’s sister. As fans will recall, Caroline gave us a “Let me tell you something about my family” speech.

However, this was just a pipe dream that never came to fruition, as Dina and Danielle were never meant to bond. The mother of one grew so tired of Danielle trying to make a friendship happen that she questioned if the former stripper was “obsessed” with her. Dina’s quote truly stood the test of time and is still fondly remembered by fans to this day.

“Here she comes. My b*tch wife”

Who could ever forget the time the gang traveled to Napa Valley to embrace the beauty and wine that California had to offer? While sitting for a group dinner Joe Giudice received a phone call that was NOT from work. In a hot mic moment for the ages, Juicy was caught telling his worker/mistress, “Here comes my bitch wife. She’s such a c*nt.” He then tries to switch to Spanish to trick Tre as he tries to convince her he is speaking to his worker. But viewers and Teresa knew the truth.

“Is b*tch better?”

Season 2 of Real Housewives of New Jersey had many great moments, but nothing stood out more than Danielle and Teresa at the infamous Posche Fashion Show. The two were not on good terms and were nitpicking semantics. At one point, Tre was trying to convince anyone who would listen that she was the “sweetest person,” but Danielle was having none of it. The mother of two even asked that the OG not refer to her as “honey.”

The request didn’t feel intolerable, but it triggered Teresa, who responded, “So, I don’t want to call you honey, bitch. Is that better?  Is bitch better?” Not to be outdone, Danielle retorted, “That’s f*cking enough.” And thus began the chaotic chase through the country club. Personally, this is my Kentucky Derby.

“Looks like a monkey’s assh*ole”

Boy, oh boy, who could ever forget that Jennifer’s lips were called out for resembling a monkey butt. One, this is the funniest insult I have ever had the pleasure to hear, and secondly, her lips should look perfect. I mean, her husband, Bill Aydin, is a plastic surgeon.

The argument started with Jennifer poking fun at Margaret’s costume jewelry. The necklace was a gift from Teresa, and for some reason, Marge just lost her cool. Making sure to hit below the belt, the blonde in pigtails laser focused in on Jen’s trout pout, noting, “So’s your f*cking lipliner; why don’t you fix it? … Looks like a monkey’s assh*le!”

One thing is for sure, the women of New Jersey are nothing if not creative.

Catch Real Housewives of New Jersey Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo.


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